家,有爱则暖: 用眼睛来聆听

Sunday, 20 March 2011

用眼睛来聆听

A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.
"Mom, guess what?" she squealed, waving the drawing.
Her mother never looked up.
"What?" she said, tending to the pots.
"Guess what?" the child repeated, waving the drawing.
"What?" the mother said, tending to the plates.
"Mom, you're not listening."
"Sweetie, yes I am."
"Mom," the child said, "you're not listening with your eyes."

Have a Little Faith 这本书里读到以上这一段话,颇有感触。

当孩子、父母或家人朋友在和我们说话时,也许当时我们的双眼正盯着报纸、电视或电脑屏幕,又或者我们正忙着一些我们自认为很重要的事,以致我们只是半敷衍的“听”他们说话,却并没有用眼睛看着他们,用心的聆听他们想告诉我们的事情。

英文的Hear 和 Listen 这两个字,在中文都是“听”的意思。然而,其中的意义却大有分别。
Hear 是被动的。声音(或噪音)飘进我们的耳朵,不管我们愿不愿意,我们都听到了,但却不一定会认真的听清楚这些声音的含义。
而 Listen 则是主动性的、用心的去聆听。所以 Simon & Garfunkel 才会唱道:People hearing without listening.......

要如何能让人知道我们正用心的聆听,而不是敷衍以对呢?
答案很简单,连小孩都会。那就是不只是用耳朵,而是也要用眼睛来聆听。
下一回,当孩子、父母或家人朋友对我们说话时,请暂时把双眼从报纸、电视或电脑屏幕移开吧!用双眼凝视着对方,仔细的聆听吧!

3 comments:

  1. Psychology counseling has the term calls "Active Listening", which I think this skill should be acquired by everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 當我在讀這本書時,這個故事也觸動了我。當時也想過要分享,不過卻不了了之。

    ReplyDelete
  3. 国雄,我学到了一个词:Active listening. 谢谢你。
    二哥,原来你也看过这本书,而且也喜欢这一段文字。真是心有灵犀。

    ReplyDelete

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